ssa
Model / Sample
Introduction
Satisfactory example
The burden of type two diabetes among indigenous Australians is much greater than in non*-
*indigenous and is rising. This paper will summarise three journal articles on this chosen topic and look at ways how the information provided can help me as a future paramedic.
Good / Excellent example
University student rural placements are a means to address workforce shortages in country areas. The following three articles examine the effectiveness and barriers to university students undertaking rural placements. Australia presently is experiencing a workforce shortage in rural areas. This shortage results from long hours and generally poor working conditions for health professionals, which can discourage students from undertaking placements. Although international studies have been undertaken, the following articles focus on the Australian context due to the uniqueness and complexity of the issues.
reyn0085 3/3/14 11:41 AM
Comment [1]: Formatting needed: 12 point font
1.5 – 2 x spacing Left justified
reyn0085 3/3/14 11:39 AM
Comment [2]: Correct grammar – Indigenous – with a capital as it is a proper noun
reyn0085 3/3/14 11:26 AM
Comment [3]: Just picky grammar – putting a hyphen in the word
reyn0085 3/3/14 11:40 AM
Comment [4]: Re-word this sentence – see next comment
reyn0085 6/3/14 8:59 PM
Comment [5]: You can probably add one more sentence here to take the word count to 75 words – you only have 44 words here
The reason for this increased incidence will be explored in the following articles. Further the information presented will be reflected upon in relation to pre-hospital practice.
In an introduction – take the first person voice out as it is a formal academic voice needed
Louise Reynolds 3/3/14 2:29 PM
Comment [6]: 86 words in this introduction
Note:
•Formatting to 12 point font
•Spacing to 1.5x or 2x
•Concise, formal academic voice
•Tells the reader what the topic is – provides a brief overview
Model / Sample
Article summary
Needs Improvement / Satisfactory example
Wood, K. , Closing the Gap But Still Long Way to Go, Australian Nursing Journal, vol 19, March 9, pg 10
Kathryn Woodford’s article is based on the Close the Gap Statement of Intent that was signed by the Rudd Government in March 2008. The article’s title, ‘Closing the Gap but still a long way to go’ asserts that whilst progress has begun, a lot more ground is still to be covered.
Woodford discusses the struggles of reaching the target and how many methods will need to be enforced to simply commence progress. Woodford’s information is gathered from references from Julia Gillard’s speech that was published in The Australian, and also a discussion from Jody Broun who gives the Author ideas about the present and future of the “Closing the Gap” statement. Woodford concludes the article by expressing the opinion that the Closing the Gap campaign has not progressed significantly. She suggests that the next step in “Closing the Gap involves partnerships between Aboriginal Australians, Aboriginal Communities, the Government of Australia, Health Professionals of Australia and the People of Australia.
For aspiring health professionals, one can conclude from the article that providing evidence to validate your argument is important. The health industry is multi-disciplinary, so it is necessary for all disciplines to work cohesively towards a goal. Partnerships are vital in making progress toward goals and promoting ideas more broadly, especially those expressed in this article
Louise Reynolds 14/2/14 3:13 PM
Comment [7]: Format font to Times New Roman / Arial
Format line spacing to 1.5x or 2x spacing
Reference
The ANJ is not a peer reviewed journal – it is a magazine from the nursing union – Australian Nurses Federation – you can check this using Ulrich’s database
Flinders 14/2/14 2:36 PM Comment [8]: Is this the correct author? Flinders 14/2/14 3:11 PM
Comment [9]: When describing the article –
focus on the outcome – what was the author’s intention behind the research activity?
Flinders 14/2/14 2:37 PM Comment [10]: Which target? Flinders 14/2/14 3:12 PM
Comment [11]: Methods - So the information was gathered from secondary sources – and not first hand information? You needed to identify the
methods by which the author collected this information
Flinders 14/2/14 2:38 PM
Comment [12]: So this is opinion based -rather than evidenced based information?
Louise Reynolds 2/3/14 8:10 PM
Comment [13]: What is the relationship to other health professionals who would be involved in Aboriginal health care? Need a sentence here
Louise Reynolds 14/2/14 3:12 PM
Comment [14]: Reflection - What does this mean for you as a health professional – be specific here
Good / Excellent example
Trevor, CO, Lansford, B & Black, JW, 2011, ‘Employee turnover and job performance: monitoring the influences of salary growth and promotion in health care organisations’, Journal of Armchair Psychology, vol 113, no.1, pp. 56-64.
Flinders 14/2/14 3:11 PM
Comment [15]: Font / Format correct !
Reference Author (date) style (eg Harvard, APA etc) !
In this article the authors review the influences of pay and job opportunities in respect to job performance, turnover rates and employee motivation in various health care organisations. Their research focused on assessing a range of pay structures such as pay for performance and organisational reward schemes. Mixed methods data was gathered through questionnaires of the hospital Chief Executive Officers (CEOs) in Vancouver, Canada to ascertain and identify the main causes of employee turnover and whether it is linked to salary growth. Semi- structured interviews with nine CEOs contrasted statistics to highlight a number of the challenges faced by the senior management in these organisations. This information could apply to other potential health professionals who face similar challenges to those in a hospital setting. This could include community based health professionals such as allied health or paramedic team leaders. These managers also need to understand how to motive and improve performance in order to deliver quality care. As a future paramedic/OT/Physio/etc l will need to identify my own rewards when faced with the challenge of delivering quality care in a system which is continuously changing.
Louise Reynolds 12/2/14 1:43 PM
Comment [16]: Description of the article
reyn0085 12/2/14 1:47 PM
Comment [17]: Identify how the data was collected
reyn0085 3/3/14 11:49 AM
Comment [18]: What is the relationship (real or potential) for other health professionals? How can you use this information to relate to other health care professionals?
reyn0085 3/3/14 11:54 AM
Comment [19]: The information is being applied to other health professionals – this is a potential relationship / application
Louise Reynolds 3/3/14 11:57 AM
Comment [20]: Explain what you now think about your future health professional? Be specific here – identify your future profession – first person ‘I’ allowed
reyn0085 3/3/14 2:15 PM
Comment [21]: Paragraph total of 184 words
Model / Sample
Conclusion
Needs improving / Satisfactory example
From looking deeply into the 3 articles it is seen that there is a connection between obesity, marketing industries and advertisements and the health professional. The responsibility of the health professional was also emphasized within these articles. It was seen how many different factors can inffluence the obesity levels in not only childhood population but the whole population.
Good / Excellent example
The preceding articles have explored a number of ways in which university students are encouraged to study and work in rural Australia. Given that there is a shortage of health professionals in rural Australia, in order to address this deficit, further rural placements are needed. The evidence revealed those issues preventing students from undertaking these placements. In order to address the health workforce shortage, the provision of student rural placements allows for common misconceptions about rural Australia to be dispelled.
reyn0085 6/3/14 3:29 PM
Comment [22]: Font format needed: 12 point Times Roman / Arial
reyn0085 3/3/14 2:46 PM
Comment [23]: Picky grammar – take care with overly emotive language
reyn0085 3/3/14 2:43 PM
Comment [24]: Picky grammar – numbers 10 need to be written in full – three articles
reyn0085 9/3/14 12:32 PM
Comment [25]: Picky grammar – one (1) limit the number of ideas in a sentence
reyn0085 6/3/14 3:29 PM
Comment [26]: Picky grammar – set your language to English (Australian)
reyn0085 6/3/14 3:29 PM
Comment [27]: Picky grammar – make sure you edit / proof read for spelling
reyn0085 6/3/14 3:30 PM
Comment [28]: Read for comprehension
reyn0085 3/3/14 2:40 PM
Comment [29]: A concise overview of the key points of the study summary
reyn0085 3/3/14 2:39 PM
Comment [30]: 80 words
Model / Sample
Self-assessment of academic skills
Needs improving / satisfactory
The challenge was keeping this assignment to only 750 words given that the three articles required me to read over 10000 words without references and to bring the ideas to 200 words in the form of description, understanding and reflection and on top of that to do the introduction, conclusion and self assessment seemed unreasonable.
Good / excellent self-reflection
This task gave me insight on the severity of the lack of allied health professionals in rural Australia. The main challenge in this task was finding three relevant articles that reflected the range of rural issues. In order to be adequately prepared for the next task, I will endeavour to commence my assignment preparation earlier.
I felt that this task was rewarding in that it gave me the opportunity to find interesting information relating to my future profession. At first, I found it difficult to locate the articles, especially ones that had any relevance to my future health profession, but after completing the activities I found it relatively easy with the help of my tutor.
I learnt a lot by completing this task; I was able to gain skills in researching and analysing research articles relating to my future practice. Sometimes it was a challenge to find relevant articles related to my topic, but once I continued I found it a lot less complicated. Before the next task I will need to ensure I know exactly where to find relevant articles. I may need support in identifying useful and relevant resources.
Flinders 9/3/14 12:28 PM
Comment [31]: Font needs to be changed to Times New Roman 12 point font
Line spacing 1.5 x or 2x
Flinders 9/3/14 12:28 PM
Comment [32]: Overly long sentence – break into key ideas.