Proposal Critique/Design
Value: 35%
Due date: 09-Jan-2017
Return date: 30 -Jan-2017
Length: 500 word blog, plus 2000 word proposal
Submission method options
Task
Read: A Business Proposal – Customer Records Management Replacement System for the fictional organisation Tangle Corp that is presented in this subject. This document will be made available via the Resources section of Interact for this subject.
Audio Briefing: MGI521_A2_Assessment_Briefing.mp3
The document you are to read is a fictional business proposal aimed at the senior management of a fictional company Tangle Corp. This proposal is an attempt by members of the line management team to convince the key executive decision makers of the value of such an investment for the business and why they should approve it.
Part A
Length: Two blog posts, each 250 words
You are to analyse and discuss the strengths and weaknesses of the Tangle Corp business proposal to achieve its intended purpose in two key areas:
• The persuasiveness of the document and its ability to gain buy in
• The communications and leadership scenario between the key stakeholders and how this might affect the outcome of this proposal.
Your first post is to state your own analysis and position on the two items above. Your second post should be a response to another student’s initial analysis post. This second post is intended to elaborate, discuss, debate or otherwise expand usefully on the initial post by that student.
For this discussion task the cohort will be divided into groups of approximately 10 students within which you may freely discuss your views. Thus, each student will only have to read and respond to a small selection of the cohort’s posts.
Part B
Length: 2000 words
Imagine that you are a communications consultant working for a small firm (ACME Comms) who provides advice and guidance on professional communications. You are an expert in this area and your firm charges their clients to have consultants like you improve their professional communications. Nick Rose has contacted you to ask you to assist him and his managers to critique their CRM proposal document. Due to the importance of this proposal and its potential impact on the company they have decided to get professional feedback on it from your firm. Note the email from Nick below.
Dear ACME
I write to ask for your assistance to give us a feedback and critique on an important internal proposal (attached) which was written jointly by our line management team. This document is to be presented to our executive management for their decision and I have included some background information on our company to give you context. This proposal will have a tremendous impact on the future of our company and we want to ensure we have the best advice and guidance on writing the best document we can. We ask for any and all feedback on any element of the proposal that you can provide.
In addition, we would like you to re-write a new executive summary for us which is kept within 300 words (+/- 10%). This part is hard for us and we would appreciate having an expert write this piece for us. The remainder of the document we will author ourselves and we will rewrite it later with your feedback.
Regards
Nick Rose
You are to analyse and discuss the strengths and weaknesses of this business proposal to achieve its intended purpose. Provide this critique to the line managers of Tangle who authored this document giving them a useful analysis, focusing on key areas as follows:
• The format, structure, layout, and flow of the message in the document. Explore how the points made are structured and sequenced, and how they interact to form a clear and compelling message.
• The language style, written expression, context, and other aspects of written business communication. How the author has used language to express their points. How that might impact the effectiveness of the document.
• The persuasiveness of the actual message, its use of persuasion techniques, its ability to conjure support and buy-in from its audience, and the overall compelling effectiveness of the document.
• The above three elements of your own critique will be assessed. IE: the message structure, language style and persuasiveness of your own written critique will be marked.
• You will need to write a replacement executive summary for their proposal using the information found within it. This exec summary must be 300 words (+/- 10%) on its own and this word count forms part of your total 2000 (+/- 10%) for the entire Part B. This is intended to be used as-is by Nick and his colleagues and is therefore aimed at the executive team as its audience and is written as if authored by the line managers.
The audience for your critique is Nick and his line management colleagues. You may include any recommendations for improvement of the document if that helps you make your points. You can also highlight specific examples from the document to help make your points. Remember that your own critique document will be assessed on your ability to put together a document that has a clear message, is expressive and is persuasive (all of these points above). Be careful to avoid excessive use of quoted copy text as such text consumes your word count without being your own words.
Your critique should also contain a brief introduction and summary or conclusion aimed at your client (Nick and his managers). This is separate from the replacement exec summary you need to craft on behalf of the line managers.
Although this critique is simulating a professional report it is actually a university assignment designed to allow you to demonstrate your knowledge and mastery of professional communications. You should therefore use references as you deem appropriate throughout the critique. You are encouraged to reference any of the content included in this subject including the audio files, webinars and the text book.
Rationale
Students will develop an understanding of how written communication can be used to present ideas, and how such presentation can influence decision making. Students should demonstrate knowledge of how even the smallest aspects of such documents can be relevant by highlighting them as either strengths or weaknesses of the provided proposal document. Students should also demonstrate knowledge of communication art, theory and practice in the creation of their own critique by leveraging or adhering to all of the principles they have studied in this subject. Students will demonstrate their ability to convey an idea in the concise and powerful format of an executive summary.
Marking criteria
Marking Criteria Marks
Part A
Analytical post on the strengths and weaknesses of the Tangle Corp proposal. 10
Discussion of another student's analysis. 10
Subtotal /20
Part B
Your critique and analysis of the structure, layout and logic of the message within the document. 16
Your critique and analysis of the language, written expression, and other aspects of written business communication. 16
Your critique and analysis of the persuasiveness of the message and its ability to conjure support and buy in from its intended audience. 16
The structure, layout and logic – the language and written expression – and the persuasiveness of your own critique and analysis document. 16
Provide a concise but thorough executive summary of the original proposal to replace the one given in the existing proposal. 16
Subtotal /80
Total Marks 100
Rubric
HD DI CR PS FL
Part A
2 blog posts Has presented a clear and comprehensive analysis of the persuasiveness of the document and its ability to gain buy in and a clear and comprehensive analysis of how the communications and leadership scenario between the key stakeholders might affect the proposal. Has presented an effective analysis of the persuasiveness of the document and its ability to gain buy in and a clear and comprehensive analysis of how the communications and leadership scenario between the key stakeholders might affect the proposal. Has presented a good analysis of the persuasiveness of the document and its ability to gain buy in and a clear and comprehensive analysis of how the communications and leadership scenario between the key stakeholders might affect the proposal. Has presented some analysis of the persuasiveness of the document and its ability to gain buy in and a clear and comprehensive analysis of how the communications and leadership scenario between the key stakeholders might affect the proposal. Analysis of the document is unclear or incomplete with little understanding of how the communications and leadership scenario between the key stakeholders might affect the proposal.
Part B
Critique and analysis of the format, structure, layout and flow of the message within the document Has presented a clear and comprehensive analysis of the format, structure, layout and flow, and has thoroughly discussed, and shown a clear understanding of, its influence on the message. Has presented an effective analysis of the format, structure, layout and flow, and has effectively discussed, and shown a good understanding of, its influence on the message. Has presented an analysis of the format, structure, layout and flow, and has discussed, and shown some understanding of, its influence on the message. Has presented a brief or unclear analysis of the format, structure, layout and flow, and has poorly discussed, or shown a minimal understanding of, its influence on the message. Has presented a minimal or confused analysis of the format, structure, layout and flow, and has not discussed, or not shown an understanding of, its influence on the message.
Critique and analysis of the language, written expression, context and other aspects of written business communication Has given a clear and comprehensive analysis of the language and context of the document and has demonstrated a strong understanding of written business communication. Has given a good analysis of the language and context of the document and has demonstrated an understanding of written business communication. Has given some analysis of the language and context of the document and has demonstrated some understanding of written business communication. Has given a brief of unclear analysis of the language and context of the document and has demonstrated a limited understanding of written business communication. Has given a minimal or confused analysis of the language and context of the document and has demonstrated no understanding of written business communication.
Critique and analysis of the persuasiveness of the message, its use of persuasion techniques, and its ability to conjure support and buy in from its intended audience.
Has given a clear and comprehensive analysis of the persuasiveness of the document and has shown a clear understanding of SPIN. Has clearly defined how the document has sought buy-in from its audience.
Has given a good analysis of the persuasiveness of the document and has shown an effective understanding of SPIN. Has defined how the document has sought buy-in from its audience. Has given an analysis of the persuasiveness of the document and has shown some understanding of SPIN. Has attempted to define how the document has sought buy-in from its audience. Has given a brief or unclear analysis of the persuasiveness of the document and has shown a minimal understanding of SPIN. Has not effectively defined how the document has sought buy-in from its audience. Has given a minimal or confused analysis of the persuasiveness of the document and has shown no understanding of SPIN. Has not defined how the document has sought buy-in from its audience.
The structure, layout and format – the language and written expression – and the persuasiveness of your own critique and analysis document. Has used a clear and effective format and layout. Has used clear and professional language that is appropriate for the audience. Has given a very persuasive critique and analysis of their points throughout. Has used an effective format and layout. Has used effective language for the audience. Has given a persuasive critique and analysis of most of their points. Has used some kind of format and layout. Has used understandable language. Has given a partially persuasive critique and analysis of their points in some places. Has used an unclear or inconsistent format and layout. Has used some confusing language that is not necessarily appropriate for the audience. Could be more persuasive in their critique and analysis of their points. Has used a confused or conflicting format and layout. Has used confused or unprofessional language. Has created many doubts about their critique and analysis.

Presentation
Part A should be posted initially within the correct Interact2 sub-forums and then reproduced exactly (without alteration) into a single Word document. Each post should be clearly separated. Your response post should mention (or include) the initial post. This should be submitted via EASTS.
Part B should use a report format, with correct grammatical protocols and accurate spelling, punctuation and word count. Feel free to use headings and bullet-lists and ToC where you think this is appropriate.
Refer to the Presentation section of this Subject Outline.
Requirements
Word count for this assignment is taken seriously. The word count reflects the level of detail you are required to put into your assignment. Students who exceed the word count by more than 10% will be penalised, and students who exceed word counts by an excessive amount may not have their assignment marked beyond a certain point to ensure fairness to other students who have completed the assignment within the guidelines given.
Administrative sections of your assignment such as headings, table of contents, reference list and other diagrams & figures are not included in the word count. In text citations are included as part of your word count.
Students who submit in PDF form should include a word count on their cover page.